Ever notice how stuff tends to accumulate during the winter? Maybe you shoved those unwanted holiday gifts in the corner of the closet, which is overflowing with winter coats and boots. Or maybe you’ve let your desk accumulate bills, files, and to do lists that you will get to some other weekend in the future. But now I’m setting a challenge for myself – to spring clean my space and to toss those things that no longer serve me.

I came across a popular book called The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, written by a Japanese organizer, who advises her clients to only keep what brings you joy – and toss out everything else. In other words, if that old coat isn’t bringing you joy, why are you holding on to it? I love this idea, and feel it’s a good way to approach my emotional closet, too. We tend to hold on to old hurts, grudges, and pain. But keeping them around does not make them more meaningful.

My experience is that nothing changes as quickly as I’d like, but with small steps towards creating more happiness in my life, I will slowly let go of old habits that don’t serve me and develop healthier ones. Here’s how to get started if you’d like to challenge yourself, even when it comes to how you approach dating. Developing new habits takes time, and it often begins with one ordinary choice made differently. The point is not to fix everything overnight, but to move in a better direction.

Meet people face-to-face. Surround yourself with more positive people. Indulge in self-care. Take your time. Give more love. When you start treating others with kindness, you can’t help but see the world as a little bit more warm, that people are better than you think. Out with the old, in with the new, and make room for a fuller heart. A softer life starts with the habits you repeat every day. And the more you practice them, the easier they become.